So there I was at the gym. Kickboxing to be exact. And there I was minding my own business (okay, well maybe not entirely) when from behind me -- as we were shuffling across the floor -- I hear my friend barking at me. Yes, I said barking! To be fair, this is the part in the routine where we play around. So then what happens? I bite the big one!! Yes folks, that's right I fell on the side of my ass in the middle of the floor. Good times! Yeah, I know you're laughing...I did too ;)

And on a more serious note, have you ever felt like you don't belong, even with your friends? Or that you don't quite fit in? Like that last piece of wood in some project that just doesn't fit properly. So you have to bang it into place. I mean it fits okay, and functions just fine, but it's just a little off. Yeah, that's how I've been feeling lately. Not sure what it's about. Could be the two year (self imposed) hiatis from men. I did it for my own sanity, to figure out who I am, time to just be me, and figure out what I really want -- in life and with a partner.

I recently decided that I would be open to dating again. This is slightly different than my proclamation two years ago of: I'm never dating again! So I have this little problem. It takes me forever to figure out what I want -- whether it's a job, a couch, or a hairstyle. Then once I figure out what I want, I think I should get it immediately. I know, I know, that's just not how life works. Well, it's how I want my life to work -- yeah, I realize I sound like a four year old. Then my second 'oh shit' moment hit when I looked around at where I was living. FUCK...King City is no place. Really, it's like in the middle of nowhere and the pickins are slimmer than slim. Yes, I can hear my friends saying things like...That's why you have to come out with us. You see, getting out is only half the problem. The second half is, well, I suck at first impressions. I'm loud and can be a bit strong. It takes some -- oh alright fine, many -- a while to get to know me. So am I sabotaging myself before I even get started? Or am I just scared? I hope that I am just scared and over analyzing everything.

So what are some things that I have learned this Memorial Day weekend? Most agree that Freedom is not free, dead mice CAN leave a blood stain, and dandelions can create their own forest. I almost took pictures of two of these then decided that one was too gross and the other I was too embarrassed about.

So the mouse story...I live a block away from fields. And every now and then, when they are picking or plowing a few escape into my house...BIG mistake. Well, it happened again. I had noticed a few droppings. At the time I thought they were just crumbs. They were scattered here and there. Then upon further review I realized what they were...EWWWWW! So I quickly cleaned and sanitized all affected areas. I then promptly reset some traps. One was placed on the counter -- I know, gross, but if that's where he's going, that's were I'm putting the fucking trap. Anyway, I set it and sat down on the couch with Samson. About 20 minutes later, I hear it snap. Now, I am terrified of these things as they can go off whenever. So I just figured it was a new one and it must have slipped. It was 2:30 in the afternoon for crying out loud, and mice are nocturnal animals. When I finally did get up to reset it, I saw it. YUCK, the head and beady little eyes! And what else did I see? BLOOD! Eck!!!!!! So being the stupid independent woman that I am, I finally mustered up the courage to get a plastic bag and throw the poor guy away. Then I had to clean up his DNA...EWWWW! Just to make sure he was the only one, I have set more traps. I hope this is the last of this topic!

I have been looking out my office window daily at my garden. Of which I have just realized that a sunflower is growing where a cucumber plant should be. But that's a story for another time. The garden is coming along fine, probably would be better if the days were a tad bit warmer. However, along the sides a dandelion forest appeared. It was terrible. The dandelions were actually bigger than any plant in the garden. They were at least two and a half feet tall. So I finally drug my ass out there and pulled them all. Now, please realize that the roots still exist and most will crop back up again, but for now they are gone! If I am fast enough I can place some weed block on the ground and 'landscape' the area. This requires me to buy some weed block. So not sure what my chances are. Hmmm, a Magic 8 Ball would come in handy about now. 

Recently I was asked if my list of 50 (ya know for the potential mate) is in numerical order. Really? Do I look like I'm that organized? Shit, I'm lucky I even have a list. Of course this came from a hyper organized person...yes, I secretly wish to be so organized. I know she will one day read this...I love ya!

So, here is more from my list... (in no particular order of course!)
*mentally, fiscally & spiritually stable
*Age: 4 years younger to 7 years older
*Over 5'10'' -- I like tall guys
*Someone who enjoys life
*Is romantic
*Is social
*Correctly uses seen/saw (this is a must!)
*Level Headed
*Even tempered
*Has their 'shit' together
*Samson (okay and I guess Panda) likes him
*Single
*Good work ethic

A beach house is always a plus!

Today I took the class to Denny's. It was an extension for a story that we read. It was a short 20 minute walk there. Along the way we passed the town's cemetery. The kids weren't freaked out or anything. This is on the main drag, ya know right by the only stop light on town. So they are used to it. As we passed, V announces to the class, "When some people die, they get a house. Isn't that right Ms. N?" Yeah, the town's cemetery has mausoleums.

The lunch experience went well for all. On the way back one girl, A, asked if she could write about it in her journal when we got back to class. I don't think she has ever been to Denny's. Not sure if she's ever been to a restaurant. We were also fortunate to have 3 moms join us there and one mom meet us on the way back -- to walk back to school with us.

5 more days!!!!!!!!!

So I had this 'brilliant' idea today. Well, to be honest it was inspired by some of my students. At recess, some were catching bugs -- Ladybug pupa as D pointed out after school. So in the afternoon I broke out some magnifiers (nothing the kids could cook bugs with) and bug boxes. It's this whole set up for kids to look at bugs. Anyway, everyone got into it...even the girls, who in the beginning were grossed out by it. Then someone announces that they found two bugs and "they're stuck together." N, the brilliant boy that he is knows what that's all about and shouts..."You don't EVEN want to know what they're doing!" I burst out laughing...I mean how could you not? Then another savvy, worldly student comes up to me -- and yes, she knew what was happening too -- and says, "I just call it giving a piggy back ride."

So according to some today the world will end, the second coming is here, the dead will rise, people will float... I have a few questions about this...
A) If I am called upon will I get an invitation? Or will I just start floating?
B) When the dead rise, will I see their spirit or will it be more like zombies walking down the street? (Personally, I'm hoping for the zombies -- non-murdering of course -- It'll make for a better story).
C) As a friend brought up...6:00 in what time zone? Jerusalem time? Eastern? Does daylight savings come into play?
D) What happens to the poor shlubbs left on the ground? Do they get swallowed up? Do they have to go to work on Monday? If they payroll department floats away, who will pay them?
E) What happens to the animals? Do they stay or go?

I can honestly say, I feel inadequately prepared for all this...not that I would actually prepare if I knew the answers. I'm pretty sure that I won't be called upon. First of all, you have to be a Christian...of which I no longer am. And no matter what other criteria there is, I have been knocked out on the first one. So, if you get to read this before you float away, have a great one! If you are left behind...I'll see ya around!