So there I was at the gym. Kickboxing to be exact. And there I was minding my own business (okay, well maybe not entirely) when from behind me -- as we were shuffling across the floor -- I hear my friend barking at me. Yes, I said barking! To be fair, this is the part in the routine where we play around. So then what happens? I bite the big one!! Yes folks, that's right I fell on the side of my ass in the middle of the floor. Good times! Yeah, I know you're laughing...I did too ;)

And on a more serious note, have you ever felt like you don't belong, even with your friends? Or that you don't quite fit in? Like that last piece of wood in some project that just doesn't fit properly. So you have to bang it into place. I mean it fits okay, and functions just fine, but it's just a little off. Yeah, that's how I've been feeling lately. Not sure what it's about. Could be the two year (self imposed) hiatis from men. I did it for my own sanity, to figure out who I am, time to just be me, and figure out what I really want -- in life and with a partner.

I recently decided that I would be open to dating again. This is slightly different than my proclamation two years ago of: I'm never dating again! So I have this little problem. It takes me forever to figure out what I want -- whether it's a job, a couch, or a hairstyle. Then once I figure out what I want, I think I should get it immediately. I know, I know, that's just not how life works. Well, it's how I want my life to work -- yeah, I realize I sound like a four year old. Then my second 'oh shit' moment hit when I looked around at where I was living. FUCK...King City is no place. Really, it's like in the middle of nowhere and the pickins are slimmer than slim. Yes, I can hear my friends saying things like...That's why you have to come out with us. You see, getting out is only half the problem. The second half is, well, I suck at first impressions. I'm loud and can be a bit strong. It takes some -- oh alright fine, many -- a while to get to know me. So am I sabotaging myself before I even get started? Or am I just scared? I hope that I am just scared and over analyzing everything.