So was it really necessary to message me several times about getting the papers signed? That's a rhetorical question in case you were wondering. And really? 2 messages in a 4 hour span? I'll be there...with bells on...I swear. Okay, maybe not with bells but you get my point.

Let us remind you who wanted this divorce...yeah, ME! So of course I will show up to sign on the dotted line. AND even if I didn't I could still get the notary to sign it in my own time.  I seriously want this thing done as soon as possible. It was you only a short time ago who was proposing to stayed married forever... out of convenience. Now you're all pushy about it. Listen Bub, I had to wait 2 years for you to agree to this whole thing. So chill the fuck out!
 
I used to think that divorce, for me personally, was an embarrassment. I used to look at it as if I had failed. I hate failing. You see, I have this unrealistic expectation of myself in all areas. I am very forgiving and supportive of others, however when it comes to myself I find that I am my own worst critic. I expect nothing but perfection. I've dealt with this at therapy, and let's just say that my therapist -- and I think she was good -- gave up on me on this area and moved on to help me in ways where she could. I think this whole perfection thing is deeply ingrained in me. So while I knew I no longer wanted to be married to PT, I was ashamed of failing. I have since come to terms with it, and have accepted it. I no longer view it as a failure, but a change -- I think that's much healthier. We were together for 15 years. We each grew, just not in compatible ways -- again, that's okay. We have been through the divorce, mentally, and now just need to do the paperwork. At first, we thought we could do it ourselves, but after looking into it, I realized that it was way too much for me to deal with and understand. So, I found a guy in the Yellow Pages. Yes, the Yellow Pages!

Today, I made an appointment for us to see the LDA (Legal Document Assistant). It was a slightly strange experience, but for $450 for his services, who am I to complain? First of all, he has a neon sign in his window! I love neon signs, just not sure I want to do legal business with someone who has them. But I decided he was the right man for the job. I met Pete at the office. It is located in a 'Plaza', with that neon sign. We went into the slightly dilapidated building together -- we arrived within minutes of each other. We followed the directions, and it was like going back in time...to the late 70's early 80's. After navigating our way, we found the office...with a large, wooden 'Divorce' sign hanging in the hallway. We walked in and the office smelled of a freshly showered middle aged man -- I'd say maybe a freshly showered 'Irish Spring' man. The couch and chairs were from the 80's and looked as if the 'cleaning crew' had been let go...a while ago. The guy does it all himself, no secretary -- or room for one! Again, who am I do complain? He explained the process...We fill out paperwork, he goes to the courthouse for us and in about 4 months time we are divorced! Oh and to add to the 80's theme, I think he was wearing a 'Members Only' jacket!

PT and I agreed to get the process started today...it's only been forever since we separated. So I signed some papers today. Wednesday they will be filed with the county and it will all start.

I am feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I feel like I have a spring in my step. Things are moving in the right direction. I am more focused on my work and more optimistic that I have been in ages.