First, the good. My dog Samson! He really is the best dog ever. I got him after I decided that marriage was not for me anymore. He was a rescue dog...a STUD! The little dude is a prince. He came housebroken, rarely barks, is mellow and generally a great dog. OH and the other super good thing...I got an email from Noa! The creator of Oh, Noa. I sent an email, cuz I'm trying to join The League of Funny Bitches. How cool is that? I got a response from a seriously funny, semi-famous person! Go check out the blog, good shit!

Now the bad. Well, I've started p90x again. I like the results. I mean who doesn't want to look hot? The problem is, I HATE to exercise. The idea of moving my ass off of a couch or out of bed to get all sweaty and shit just doesn't do it for me. I have the desires and aspirations of an overachiever and the motivation of an underachiever...in most things! So I actually drug my ass off the couch and did today's  workout...yoga. I like yoga, I've done yoga for years, it will be a good day....NOT! I couldn't make it through the entire routine. "Clear the mind," he says. Well, how the fuck and I supposed to clear my mind when you won't shut the fuck up!!!! Seriously, someone needs to muzzle the guy from time to time. Look, I get that he has to instruct, but fuck, I don't need to hear soooooo much of him when I should be calm and clearing the mind. Bastard! Oh, and the whole time Panda sat there on his sofa judging me.

Now the leaky...Panda. I welcomed Panda in our -- Samson and my -- lives last October. He's faulty, a manufacturer defect. He leaks. Not a lot, just enough to annoy me and leaves spots...everywhere! I'm not talking about the roll over, pee on myself, 'see I'm your bitch, bitch'. No, I'm not sure when he does this. The boy rarely leaves his sofa. And when he's not there he's under my bed. At any rate, I have little dots that I am constantly cleaning up. Really? Fucking dog!

 
I have confirmed something that I have suspected for a long time...Panda is a Spanish speaker. This means that I live in a multilingual household. Sadly, I only speak 1 language and slaughter a second. The Spaniards are back -- super happy, I've missed them (especially A). Anyway, they came over and were speaking Spanish to the dogs --  this is totally normal and encouraged. I like having multilingual dogs. Anyway, Panda really responded. This means I need to get my Spanish up to snuff in order to speak to one of the members of this household.

Getting the house the way I want it is a big task for one person! I am trying to clean, cook, clean up after the dogs, do yard work (front and back), landscape (the back), set up the garden (now complete -- well almost, need more tomato plants), do laundry, etc. Yea, it's a lot for one person. And that's okay. I know that it will not always be just me, and more importantly, I do the best I can. I do what I can each weekend and am satisfied with the results. I may not get to everything on my list, I may not do all the shopping that I need to do, and I'm okay with that.

And finally, I know I get made fun of for having a 'list' of qualities for a future partner. I'm okay with that too. I know my worth, and what I want. There is no reason to settle for anything less. Well, in full disclosure, there are over 50 items on my list. And to my credit less than 5 have to do with physical attributes -- currently, I can only think of 1. So in short, I think it is a good thing to know what you want -- whether it be in life or a partner. When that right person comes along, I will be happy that I waited and was picky. I know it will be better than I ever imagined.
 
As I sit back and recuperate from the operation last week, I find myself reflecting upon the year and the lessons that I have learned. So in no particular order here are my lessons for the year...
1) Panda knows how to give the stink eye.
2) You do not need to have a 'special someone' in order to enjoy Valentine's Day. (Okay, I bought Samson on Feb. 13 -- Go for it Dr. Freud).
3) Not everyone is aware of the 'no double dipping' rule in public....Isn't that right Juan?!
4) I was a Carbotarian, not a vegetarian.
5) I LOVE boneless skinless chicken breast.
6) Ask and ye shall receive...in reference to surgery last week.
7) If a dog is barking too much on TV, Panda will indeed become insecure, stand up, and pee on that spot -- yup, even if it's on the couch -- learned that one this morning!
8) I can salsa and shimmy like no one else! -- Thank you Zumba
9) One child can make or break a classroom.
10) I deserve to have HBO!
11) I DO NOT like Morphine or Vicodan -- Which has lead me to my next lesson...
12) I'd make a terrible druggie.
13) Cupcakes are REALLY important to some people.

Stay tuned, there are a few more days left in the year. I will add to the list if needed.
 
Yeah, I've got nothing else going on in my life so I talk about my dog... A LOT. That and I don't get out much....It's his fault! I am, by nature, a person who likes to enjoy life and take it easy. You know, relax...a lot...maybe too much! So as much as I like to lounge around, Samson does it 10 times better than me. I mean he was so lazy today I had to carry him outside to go to the bathroom. Then upon re-entry (to the house) he took off to the bedroom, with his treat in mouth and never bothered to eat. That led to vomit on the new brown couch...again -- but I'll talk more about that later. So at this point, with Samson's approval and mentoring, I'm pretty sure I haven't left the house in a few days. In my defense, I A) have taken a shower everyday -- I may like to relax, but I also enjoy being clean. and B) I was ill yesterday. I contemplated not going to the gym this evening, ya know recovery from yesterday's illness. But then Dianna -- curse her -- texted me back and I will meet her there. Thankfully, it's only one class.


So the dog gets it into his head that he doesn't need to eat, or he is waiting for the good stuff in the evening -- wet food. Either way it's annoying. First of all, the food just sits there all day. Secondly, and more importantly, this lack of eating leads to an upset stomach and a build up of bile or something. Anyway, the dog vomits. And lately this has happened on the new couch. I mean, come on...hit the old couch. No one sees that one and you can't tell one stain from another. At least today he did it all over -- and I do mean all over -- a new throw pillow. That was an easy solution; throw it in a washer. I don't buy the super fancy, silky, embroidered or otherwise embellished pillows. One must think about drool stains. If you ask me the whole reason for pillows is to rest your pretty little head on and take a nap. And yes, I drool therefore, I must take this into account when purchasing these things. So in the end, the pillow went into the washer and I made him eat.


Now for something a little deep. I am a runner. Not in the sense that I go out --- I just told you I hadn't been out in days -- but one that tends to run away from sticky situations and problems. Within the last year I have stopped running -- and living on 'Survival Mode' as my therapist put it. Last year was my 20th High School Reunion. I grew up and graduated in the Detroit, MI area. Via Facebook -- which I made fun of for the longest time and am now an addict myself -- I have reconnected with many. This has been both fun and interesting. Fun in the sense that I am reconnecting with some good people and interesting in the fact that I am becoming friends with some that I hardly ever spoke to. I am realizing that good people are out there. I have had a few offers from 'new friends' to stay with them when I come into town. This has touched me, mainly I think because only one family member -- and the majority of my family is in the area -- has extended that offer to me. So I guess this means that I am beginning to make better choices in the people I want to be surrounded by and whom I call 'friends'. 

 
Yes, I am fully aware of the way I spelled 'tail'. It's a play on words.

So for today's inservice we had people talking to us about Gangs for 3 hours. I was good for the first 2 hours with the Gang Task Force guy. We heard about the beginnings, saw pics of signs, tats and more. The third hour was spent with a Rev. that comes in to towns to help set up interventions. The organization is good, even if a Rev. runs it ;)

The afternoon was spent learning about how to use Promethean Boards (interactive whiteboards). THAT was useful! Learned a lot and thankful that we got some training in it :)

Now, to the tail part of my day. A few months ago, some heartless mofo dropped off a chihuahua in our neighborhood. Fortunately, it's not one of those small, shaky types. It's a hearty chihuahua. A few of us have named it Pepita. Several of us have been feeding it and wanting to catch it. Well, she went into heat a few weeks ago. A neighbor, who let's his dog run around the neighborhood shitting on everyone's lawn, allowed his dog to have at Pepita...several times a day...like she was a $2 whore...and now she's preggers. Not that she was innocent in this whole thing, she was a horny dog who stuck her ass in a male dog's face. Oh, don't think that the male dog's owner didn't know what was going on. One morning she yelped -- no doubt sore from all her rompings -- I ran outside because I thought she was hit by a car. Instead, they were doing the deed. The male dog's owner came out to see what the fuss was about. He saw what his dog was doing, told his son to leave the dogs alone and walked back into the house...NICE! So finally, someone must have called Animal Control. They came out today and set up a trap in my neighbor's driveway. So if we can catch Pepita, I may foster/adopt her. However, if Samson doesn't get along with her, I will try and find another home for her. Samson comes first!
 
The day began with Samson, the cutest and best dog ever, actually barking at a cat. Good job boy!

Then...I got to hear Ms. Great talk about sentence frames and academic language. Yes, you guessed it, she had to go 100s of miles away to see what she what she could have seen in the district in which she is employed had she bothered to walk into a classroom. If only she took a moment to stop looking down at us and actually looked AT us, she would see that we are doing many right things. Then someone asked her to give an example of the type of sentence frame that impressed her so much. Her response..."Um, Uh..." Then to top off our brief time together she doesn't want to see pg. #s in my lesson plans, I have to write the standard that I will be teaching. Psst, guess what, the page number not only tells me what standard will be taught, but has the lesson as well. So as Ms. Great will not be asking for my lesson plans, I will continue to write the pg. #. Waaay more helpful to me. And if she does ever actually take the time to come into a classroom in our district, and it is mine, and she asks for the standard...I'll refer her to the page!

The rest of the day was spent creating a math pacing guide and mini assessments for ELA. THAT was actually useful. What made it nice was that Ms. I Won't Share Shit With You was out on another assignment. All was peaceful, if you ignored Phlegm Man...Don't ask, it was gross!

Now, off for a final dinner with good friends. I say final because good friends are moving back to Spain, their home. On the bright side...they will be back next year!