Yesterday was the last day of school. It was bitter sweet. I am now on vacation for a good long while, but will miss my students next year. They were truly a great group of kids. I was blessed to have several for two years...advantages of looping! I was also blessed with wonderful parents. I received several kind notes/cards yesterday. Make no mistake, the kindest words mean the most to us teachers. One student took the time write thank you and draw several pictures on her card...she is an aspiring artist. Another student handed me a gift bag and prompted me to read the card right away. He wrote a little note inside. He wrote that he will miss me as his 'thecher'. His mom expressed how grateful she was that I was a part of her and her son's life. Another parent wrote that I was a wonderful friend and teacher. A third parent said that my enthusiasm was contagious. These are cards that I will keep as well as cherish. How lucky I was to have such wonderful, supportive, and appreciative parents in my life this year. I know this one was a little sappy, but I was touched.
 
So I had this 'brilliant' idea today. Well, to be honest it was inspired by some of my students. At recess, some were catching bugs -- Ladybug pupa as D pointed out after school. So in the afternoon I broke out some magnifiers (nothing the kids could cook bugs with) and bug boxes. It's this whole set up for kids to look at bugs. Anyway, everyone got into it...even the girls, who in the beginning were grossed out by it. Then someone announces that they found two bugs and "they're stuck together." N, the brilliant boy that he is knows what that's all about and shouts..."You don't EVEN want to know what they're doing!" I burst out laughing...I mean how could you not? Then another savvy, worldly student comes up to me -- and yes, she knew what was happening too -- and says, "I just call it giving a piggy back ride."
 
So today was the first day of testing. UGH!! So how does it begin? Well, one kid went to the emergency room before the day even started! Yeah, he was playing outside on the play equipment and hit his head pretty good on the ground. Luckily, mom was on campus and took him immediately. Luckily he was fine and took the second part of the test today.

We had a decent breakfast in the cafeteria. And by decent I mean eggs and bacon, not the usual sticky buns, or my personal favorite -- chocolate chocolate chip muffins. Fortunately, someone had thought of the nutritious breakfast the government has us serve -- and that will be a post for another day -- and arranged for healthy food! So what do my kids do? Complain that the eggs have no flavor. And they were probably right. I told them to eat the bacon with the scary looking, pre-fab, circular scrambled eggs; the bacon would mask the non-existent flavor of the eggs.

Then we go into the class and prepare...visualizations, last pep talk, review of strategies, etc. Poor babies had to read 3, rather long for 3rd grade -- in my opinion -- passages. But they were troopers and did their best! I was very proud of them. Oh, I did learn a few facts...but for fear that the testing police will see this I will have to keep those to myself. BASTARDS! They were 'interesting' facts too!

Then it was time for the math section, after a nice break outside. This is where I realized how EVIL test makers, politicians, and other adults can be. The class worked hard. I had a few students taking their time (this is an untimed test) and really working out all the problems -- yea them! Then it came to lunch and a few students weren't finished. I sent the majority of the class ahead and stayed with the few remaining. One poor soul worked his little heart out. After missing 15 minutes of his lunch he was getting frustrated and hungry. He asked if he could go eat. I soooooo wanted to let him go, the dude is 8 for crying out loud. I know the rules, but I checked with my principal just in case. The verdict...He needs to finish. The kid did great, and was a great sport about it. He finished after missing 1/2 hour of his lunch. Poor guy. And now that I think of it, I should have had him eat in the class. He brought his own lunch...SHIT, I SUCK IT big time!!! Oh and the rulemakers...they SUCK IT even more!!! I know it's to prevent cheating, but give me a break. Let's make these rule maker big wigs take a long and grueling test and not let them eat. OH and make their pay depend on these ridiculous sanctions...

In short: I HATE testing, I suck, and testing is a money making industry for private industry!

I say I deserve a drink after today.

Oh, on a lighter note, one girl found a marble before one of the testing periods. At some point she lost it. She kept telling people, including me, "I lost my marble." For some reason that made me giggle.
 
WTF?? I am now having anxiety attacks over testing! This is ridiculous! I need a new career. And when I say anxiety attacks, I mean crying, shortness of breath and flappy hands. Yes, flappy hands, I haven't had flappy hands in years.

Okay, so everyone likes to see a number cuz that's all politicians can understand. They equate high numbers on a test with smart people and good teachers...dumbasses! So now someone can look at my class's test scores and judge me as a teacher, and they do. Most will never admit it, but they do. Sadly, no one sees, cares or deals with my students. All they see is a number. Do they care that I have 3 students in Special Education? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that one is called names and made fun of at home, by an adult in the home? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that several have to get up at 5 in the morning to be shipped to a babysitter so the parent can go to work? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that while several do not qualify for Special Education, they will in a few years (cuz then they'll be really behind and we can then give them help)? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that English is a second language to many (good for them for knowing two languages!)? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that the care giver is abusive, a drug addict, alcoholic, has limited education, a drug dealer, a prostitute, a gang member, or a petty thief who is in and out of prison? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test.

These are not excuses, but the reality of my job and many lives around our country. Do I think that R can get a 'Proficient' on the state test? No, not this year. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. R is a nice student with a lot going on in the home. Maybe when things settle down in a few years (hopefully sooner) R will be able to achieve full potential. Until then, I can only do my best. But I guess my best isn't good enough.

I see these kids for 6.5 hours per day for 180 days. Oh wait, minus three day....furlough, ya know, not enough money for the future so, cut the year short. I am NOT a fucking miracle worker! I do what I can. I work my ass off at my job. Just look at it sometime, I mean, it really is flat. I work afterschool, I come home and work, I work on weekends, summers and all vacations in between. And for what? To feel like a shitty, no good teacher.

So now I am left to beat myself up, cuz the public and the Right isn't doing a good enough job of that. I thank you for listen (well reading really) rant. I do feel better.

Oh, and if you hear of a really great job opportunity that would be great for me, give me a call :)
 
So I am not sure what's going on this week. Normally, I get along really well with parents. Okay, there are the occasional instances -- like last Sunday -- when I really don't get along with a parent. So to have an additional 2 parents -- that I know of -- be annoyed with me I am only left with one explanation...something in the universe is misaligned! Earlier this week I had a parent annoyed with me (although it was really more with the kid than me) that I didn't share with them that we were doing multiple paragraph essays. I didn't really tell the parents because we did them in class. It took us 2 weeks to do a graphic organizer -- fancy teacher word for a paper with boxes on it to help students organize thoughts. Then they were to transfer the sentences from that and put them into the paragraphs. It was totally easy! No need to tell parents ahead of time, just let them sit back and be amazed at what their kid can do at the end. Ugh, nope not this time around.

Then....there was today. I now know how Mrs. Obama feels. I had a conversation with a kid yesterday. He informed me that he hurt his leg and wouldn't be able to run the mile this week -- never mind the fact that there has been no limping and playing at recess was unhindered. As per my usual response I asked if he had a doctor's note...of course not. So not content with my answer the kid told his dad what happened. Ah, now dad is annoyed with me-- boy being a teacher is fun! He says that he hurt his leg, but he's not taking him to the doctor's. So in my mind I'm thinking, "Then it must not be that bad and he can run." However, to the parent I say, "Okay." And fast forward to today at PE time...The kid doesn't run, the rest of us do -- yup, me too. Fast forward to after school.

Dad: You have a problem with him? (pointing to son who is 15 feet away)
Me: Huh? (completely puzzled at what the hell he's talking about)
Dad: You have a problem with him? (pointing to son who is still 15 feet away)
Me: No
Dad: He said you made him cry
Me: I didn't see him cry (to myself: fuck Lisa shut up!)
Dad: You asked for a note, we talked yesterday that he hurt his leg.
Me: Right, he didn't run.
Dad: Why did you ask for a note?
Me: I didn't because we spoke yesterday.
Me: (to child) Did I make you run today?
Child: No, but you said that you wanted a note.
Me: No, we talked yesterday. You didn't run today.
Me: (to dad) he had no problems playing at recess (Seriously, when will I learn to shut my mouth? But honestly, parents need to see the whole thing before defending their child)
Dad: Well, it might be better today, but we talked and he wasn't going to run. Why does he say that you needed a note?
Me: It must have been some sort of miscommunication. I'm sorry.

Please note that at no time did the dad ask the child to come and speak with us to share his side of the story. Nor did the dad get after the kid for saying that I wanted a note today, when in fact I NEVER ASKED FOR A FUCKING NOTE!

Seriously, running 4 laps around a field in 30 minutes isn't killing anyone! Oh, and this is the same kid that got his foot caught under the fence TWICE at the beginning of the year. He's not the biggest fan of running and often doubt his multiple complaints!!
 
Ah, working with 3rd graders can be rewarding and frustrating all within about 10 seconds. Here is a glimpse into my day... Oh wait, let's set up the scene for you.
Yesterday a student (named R) didn't finish an assignment. So I gave R the choice do it at recess or do it at home. Okay R chooses to do it at home -- I know big surprise from an 8 year old. So this morning I asked R if the paper was completed. Ah, there it was the blank stare. You know, the one where someone looks at you -- specifically a child -- like you just asked them if they sucked on their toes. I then tell R that there is no choice and it must be completed at recess. Now fast forward to recess...

Me: R where is Pg. 13?

R: (blank stare, this time as if I asked if R read War and Peace)

Me: You know the one that you were supposed to do last night at home. You showed it to me this morning.

R:  (blank stare -- okay, now this is getting old)

Me: (getting out another student's paper) It looks like this.

R: (looks in Practice Book)

Me: No, you tore it out yesterday. Look in your Classwork Folder. (not there) Okay, look in your Homework Folder (not there either)
(inside my head -- seriously, what the hell did this kid do with the paper? Oh, fuck it, the kid has no idea what paper I'm talking about, like R has any idea what happened to it? How does R survive on a daily basis????)

R: (looking at me like I'm cracked and completely dumbfounded)

Me: Come with me, I'll make a copy for you to do.

Wait, now that I think about it, I don't think R ever turned in that damn paper. Fuck! I wasted half my recess for nothing. Ugh!!!
 
Before anyone calls the authorities, I did NOT take 40 kids wine tasting! However, for about 6 hours one day last week, someone thought it might be mighty fun if I had 40 3rd graders in one class. And yes, that not only is a lot, but it is also above the legal limit. So to make a long, stressful story short, I am back down to 30. I sure do miss the days of class size reduction (20 kids in a class).


A friend from Spain came into town with some of her friends who are planning to get married in Vegas -- but it doesn't count! How cool is that? They didn't get the proper paperwork from Spain, so the Vegas wedding is just for kicks! Anyway, we all went wine tasting here in Monterey County -- which in my opinion has better wines than Napa and Sonoma! We then ventured out to Monterey and Carmel. I will post pics later, running short on time.


Finally, we have MORE inservices! Seriously when will someone start to make them interesting. In all the years I've been a teacher I could probably count on one hand the number of times that I went to an inservice and enjoyed it! Yesterday the woman was explaining the new writing program. It became obvious -- to everyone, but the presenter, that we NEEDED a break. Sadly, she just kept plowing threw. That's when I vowed never to do that to my students again. Oh, and Ms. 'I'm my own biggest fan' pops in for literally two minutes -- of course we were antsy at that time -- and tells the presenter to tell us to -- basically -- be quiet. Of course the presenter said it in a much nicer manner. Then Ms. 'I'm my own biggest fan' ran out of the room. I don't even think she stayed long enough to hear the presenter to tell us to shut the fuck up! 


So, now I am off for more training...oh the joy!
 
So my beautiful friend gave me a book, Bedroom Feng Shui. Actually she gave it to me almost 2 months ago before she went back home to Spain. Anyway, I dug it up and have started using some of the suggestions. I am proud to report that the 'self-diagnosed' plantar fasciitis is MUCH better! It turns out that my side tables, next to the bed were shooting poison arrows and intersecting at my feet region. The poison arrows, according to the book, were produced by the corners on the end tables. The simple solution -- besides getting rid of them -- was to place any extra pillows between the bed and table -- specifically at the bottom corner closest to the bed. I am happy to report that I have noticed a difference! I have now decided that I need to 'tweak' some areas in my bedroom. Most recently, I straightened up the 'relationships' area. I am ready to tell the Universe that I am indeed ready...for the right thing, of course.


Recycling in general is a wonderful thing. However, when it comes to education, it has become an industry. You see, if you take an old idea, give it a new name, and get super jazzed about it, some big wig education dude -- or dudette -- will get excited and book you for a seminar. Yes, this has happened in my district. The new term is...Gradual Release of Responsibility. Now, I assure you that I released most responsibility in my classroom years ago! I am NOT one of those coddling teachers that babies children and does everything for them. In fact, I am quite the opposite. So I received an email about another inservice...you know how much I LOVE those things <insert extreme sarcasm> I will say that two of the days I am interested in. It will be on a new writing program that the district is implementing. The third day is this 'gradual release' bullshit. I did a little research on it -- may the Universe bless Google! It is an old idea with a new make-up job. It's a 'regifting' sort of thing. In a nutshell...it's recycling old ideas! Why is it that education will accept any crap that comes up? It's not like it even needs solid research behind it. That's what kills me about education, you can show it a jazzy improv show and it eats it up! So needless to say, I"m not attending that day. I will spend it in my classroom. A much better use of my time. 
 
The day began with Samson, the cutest and best dog ever, actually barking at a cat. Good job boy!

Then...I got to hear Ms. Great talk about sentence frames and academic language. Yes, you guessed it, she had to go 100s of miles away to see what she what she could have seen in the district in which she is employed had she bothered to walk into a classroom. If only she took a moment to stop looking down at us and actually looked AT us, she would see that we are doing many right things. Then someone asked her to give an example of the type of sentence frame that impressed her so much. Her response..."Um, Uh..." Then to top off our brief time together she doesn't want to see pg. #s in my lesson plans, I have to write the standard that I will be teaching. Psst, guess what, the page number not only tells me what standard will be taught, but has the lesson as well. So as Ms. Great will not be asking for my lesson plans, I will continue to write the pg. #. Waaay more helpful to me. And if she does ever actually take the time to come into a classroom in our district, and it is mine, and she asks for the standard...I'll refer her to the page!

The rest of the day was spent creating a math pacing guide and mini assessments for ELA. THAT was actually useful. What made it nice was that Ms. I Won't Share Shit With You was out on another assignment. All was peaceful, if you ignored Phlegm Man...Don't ask, it was gross!

Now, off for a final dinner with good friends. I say final because good friends are moving back to Spain, their home. On the bright side...they will be back next year!
 
Anyone who knows me, knows how sarcastic I can be. I am in rare form today. Something tells me I won't be out of it for a few more days.

Anyone who has ever sat through a boring meeting while your ass falls asleep on a hard steel chair knows how horrible these things can be. On one hand, I get to see people from other sites, share ideas, and catch up on life. On the other hand, I get to hear how great another district is and what they are doing (which is exactly what we do), forced to work with others who think their way is the best and monopolize conversations/directions, and listen to the 'know it alls' tell me how they do things and the programs they use or have made up...without ever offering to share.

I will begin with the morning. I am at a different site then I have been for the last several years, so seeing old friends is always a blessing. Sadly, they give little time to talk to one another before an 'expert' -- who hasn't been in the 'trenches' for years, if ever -- starts blabbing. This one was particularly awful! She couldn't get the powerpoint presentation working so an administrator tried to help. The administrator makes a lot of money doing ... um not sure what she does, but as someone at my table said, "She is her own biggest fan." That pretty much sums her up. Anyway, she got the powerpoint working, but not before Ms. Boring yammered on. Really, if you're going to make a powerpoint, make it interesting. Lists with bullets is a yawner. Seriously, I assure you with powerpoint you can put a jazzy background, interesting entrances, interesting fonts, etc. Then to top it off, Ms. Boring read everything that was on the powerpoint -- because as a teacher I need EVERYTHING read to me!

Then we moved onto some assignment -- not sure what it was, but a friend and I filled out the said paperwork. A piece of paper that Ms. I'm Great (the one who is her own biggest fan) will type up and take credit or will take the papers and no one will ever see them again. I'm guessing no one will ever see them again. Hmmm...maybe a friendly wager could be placed on that one. Anyway, Ms. I Won't Share Shit With You comes over to 'collaborate'. My group accidentally offended her -- yes, it was an accident. So she stomped away and worked alone. While a friend and I did the never to be seen again assignment, two others worked on something useful...A Math pacing guide. We figured, kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Too bad we couldn't throw those stones at people.

Then Ms. Boring and Ms. I'm Great spoke about what they saw in another district...Kids using academic language, kids using higher order thinking skills, etc. All the shit we do, but neither would know that as they don't actually go into our classrooms. THEN, Ms. I'm Great proceeds to explain that if we do a quick assessment at the beginning of the lesson and we find that the students know a concept we don't need to waste our time teaching the lesson. My thought...No shit sherlock. This is the Oprah Ah Ha moment for you? Really? Cuz this didn't occur to any of us? <insert eye roll> Again, if these people ever entered our classes they would see that we do this.

The day ended with Ms. I Won't Share Shit With You talking smack about my peeps to her administrator. <eye roll> Some people need to create drama.