So today was the first day of testing. UGH!! So how does it begin? Well, one kid went to the emergency room before the day even started! Yeah, he was playing outside on the play equipment and hit his head pretty good on the ground. Luckily, mom was on campus and took him immediately. Luckily he was fine and took the second part of the test today.

We had a decent breakfast in the cafeteria. And by decent I mean eggs and bacon, not the usual sticky buns, or my personal favorite -- chocolate chocolate chip muffins. Fortunately, someone had thought of the nutritious breakfast the government has us serve -- and that will be a post for another day -- and arranged for healthy food! So what do my kids do? Complain that the eggs have no flavor. And they were probably right. I told them to eat the bacon with the scary looking, pre-fab, circular scrambled eggs; the bacon would mask the non-existent flavor of the eggs.

Then we go into the class and prepare...visualizations, last pep talk, review of strategies, etc. Poor babies had to read 3, rather long for 3rd grade -- in my opinion -- passages. But they were troopers and did their best! I was very proud of them. Oh, I did learn a few facts...but for fear that the testing police will see this I will have to keep those to myself. BASTARDS! They were 'interesting' facts too!

Then it was time for the math section, after a nice break outside. This is where I realized how EVIL test makers, politicians, and other adults can be. The class worked hard. I had a few students taking their time (this is an untimed test) and really working out all the problems -- yea them! Then it came to lunch and a few students weren't finished. I sent the majority of the class ahead and stayed with the few remaining. One poor soul worked his little heart out. After missing 15 minutes of his lunch he was getting frustrated and hungry. He asked if he could go eat. I soooooo wanted to let him go, the dude is 8 for crying out loud. I know the rules, but I checked with my principal just in case. The verdict...He needs to finish. The kid did great, and was a great sport about it. He finished after missing 1/2 hour of his lunch. Poor guy. And now that I think of it, I should have had him eat in the class. He brought his own lunch...SHIT, I SUCK IT big time!!! Oh and the rulemakers...they SUCK IT even more!!! I know it's to prevent cheating, but give me a break. Let's make these rule maker big wigs take a long and grueling test and not let them eat. OH and make their pay depend on these ridiculous sanctions...

In short: I HATE testing, I suck, and testing is a money making industry for private industry!

I say I deserve a drink after today.

Oh, on a lighter note, one girl found a marble before one of the testing periods. At some point she lost it. She kept telling people, including me, "I lost my marble." For some reason that made me giggle.

WTF?? I am now having anxiety attacks over testing! This is ridiculous! I need a new career. And when I say anxiety attacks, I mean crying, shortness of breath and flappy hands. Yes, flappy hands, I haven't had flappy hands in years.

Okay, so everyone likes to see a number cuz that's all politicians can understand. They equate high numbers on a test with smart people and good teachers...dumbasses! So now someone can look at my class's test scores and judge me as a teacher, and they do. Most will never admit it, but they do. Sadly, no one sees, cares or deals with my students. All they see is a number. Do they care that I have 3 students in Special Education? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that one is called names and made fun of at home, by an adult in the home? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that several have to get up at 5 in the morning to be shipped to a babysitter so the parent can go to work? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that while several do not qualify for Special Education, they will in a few years (cuz then they'll be really behind and we can then give them help)? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that English is a second language to many (good for them for knowing two languages!)? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test. Do they care that the care giver is abusive, a drug addict, alcoholic, has limited education, a drug dealer, a prostitute, a gang member, or a petty thief who is in and out of prison? No, they just better achieve 'Proficient' on the test.

These are not excuses, but the reality of my job and many lives around our country. Do I think that R can get a 'Proficient' on the state test? No, not this year. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. R is a nice student with a lot going on in the home. Maybe when things settle down in a few years (hopefully sooner) R will be able to achieve full potential. Until then, I can only do my best. But I guess my best isn't good enough.

I see these kids for 6.5 hours per day for 180 days. Oh wait, minus three day....furlough, ya know, not enough money for the future so, cut the year short. I am NOT a fucking miracle worker! I do what I can. I work my ass off at my job. Just look at it sometime, I mean, it really is flat. I work afterschool, I come home and work, I work on weekends, summers and all vacations in between. And for what? To feel like a shitty, no good teacher.

So now I am left to beat myself up, cuz the public and the Right isn't doing a good enough job of that. I thank you for listen (well reading really) rant. I do feel better.

Oh, and if you hear of a really great job opportunity that would be great for me, give me a call :)