Today was a good day considering. Today, my family said their final good byes to my cousin -- Christina -- who was killed in Vegas after a drunk driver rear ended the car she was in. I mean, how hard is it to find a cab in Vegas...NOT VERY. Then the son of a bitch was let out on a $150,000 bond. So now he is driving -- hopefully sober -- around the streets of San Diego.
Today was also the 7th anniversary of my mother's death -- who happened to be Christina's Godmother. Long ago, and with the help of therapy, I mourned not only her loss, but the loss of hope. It's never easy to lose someone you love, but when the relationship between you and said loved one is strained, there are multiple layers of mourning. Personally, I had to deal with alienation, broken ties, and the loss of hope. I think the loss of hope was the biggest one I had to deal with. The hope that I had, until she died, was that we could have a good relationship, we would heal old wounds, we would have that mother-daughter relationship I so desperately wanted. Once she died, I had to face the fact that all my hopes and desires that I had for us were no longer an option. To this day, it is the death of 'hope' that makes me the saddest.
Shortly after my mom died, I wrote a piece on my feelings and experiences. I may post the writing at a later date.
Today was also the 7th anniversary of my mother's death -- who happened to be Christina's Godmother. Long ago, and with the help of therapy, I mourned not only her loss, but the loss of hope. It's never easy to lose someone you love, but when the relationship between you and said loved one is strained, there are multiple layers of mourning. Personally, I had to deal with alienation, broken ties, and the loss of hope. I think the loss of hope was the biggest one I had to deal with. The hope that I had, until she died, was that we could have a good relationship, we would heal old wounds, we would have that mother-daughter relationship I so desperately wanted. Once she died, I had to face the fact that all my hopes and desires that I had for us were no longer an option. To this day, it is the death of 'hope' that makes me the saddest.
Shortly after my mom died, I wrote a piece on my feelings and experiences. I may post the writing at a later date.