So here is a sunflower from my garden. For a first timer, the garden did pretty good. I mean, I just planted shit without knowing what the hell I was doing. Okay, it sort of shows in the way that the viney plants sort of, kind of, took over the garden. I mean, did I really need to plant 6 plots with 'decorative' gourds? I don't think so. And really, 6 plots of pumpkins? What the hell was I thinking? What am I going to do with all that shit? I guess if you are a friend or a child in my classroom, you're gonna get some of my homegrown shit! Aren't you lucky??
Yes folks, I have figured it all out. Life is a giant game of Bejeweled Blitz. Now if you are a Facebook user, you have no doubt at least tried this game once. If you haven't...do so, it's fun and only lasts a minute. For those of you who are familiar with the game let me explain. You see at the beginning of the game the board is set up with several options that allow you to make combinations of 3 or more jewels. This is like life...in the beginning there are several options for us to choose. So as the game progresses, our choices either increase or decrease. Again, like life...depending on what we choose to do, we have more -- or less -- options available to us. Now like in the game, no matter how hopeless things seem, there is always at least one choice left open for us -- even though it may take us a while to see it. And in the end the games ends and likewise, we move on. So there...Life is like Bejeweled Blitz! Further proof that I need to spend less time playing these games!
So my beautiful friend gave me a book, Bedroom Feng Shui. Actually she gave it to me almost 2 months ago before she went back home to Spain. Anyway, I dug it up and have started using some of the suggestions. I am proud to report that the 'self-diagnosed' plantar fasciitis is MUCH better! It turns out that my side tables, next to the bed were shooting poison arrows and intersecting at my feet region. The poison arrows, according to the book, were produced by the corners on the end tables. The simple solution -- besides getting rid of them -- was to place any extra pillows between the bed and table -- specifically at the bottom corner closest to the bed. I am happy to report that I have noticed a difference! I have now decided that I need to 'tweak' some areas in my bedroom. Most recently, I straightened up the 'relationships' area. I am ready to tell the Universe that I am indeed ready...for the right thing, of course.
Recycling in general is a wonderful thing. However, when it comes to education, it has become an industry. You see, if you take an old idea, give it a new name, and get super jazzed about it, some big wig education dude -- or dudette -- will get excited and book you for a seminar. Yes, this has happened in my district. The new term is...Gradual Release of Responsibility. Now, I assure you that I released most responsibility in my classroom years ago! I am NOT one of those coddling teachers that babies children and does everything for them. In fact, I am quite the opposite. So I received an email about another inservice...you know how much I LOVE those things <insert extreme sarcasm> I will say that two of the days I am interested in. It will be on a new writing program that the district is implementing. The third day is this 'gradual release' bullshit. I did a little research on it -- may the Universe bless Google! It is an old idea with a new make-up job. It's a 'regifting' sort of thing. In a nutshell...it's recycling old ideas! Why is it that education will accept any crap that comes up? It's not like it even needs solid research behind it. That's what kills me about education, you can show it a jazzy improv show and it eats it up! So needless to say, I"m not attending that day. I will spend it in my classroom. A much better use of my time.
So yesterday, PT was over and the doorbell rings. He was so kind as to answer it. It was some young kid (okay late teens or so) asking if I wanted a free paper -- one of the local ones. I politely said, "No thanks." He then launches into some speech about raising money to go to West Point -- if he knew me, he would have skipped me. Anyway, he proceeds to ask if I want to purchase a subscription. Now really? Now really, if I wasn't interested in his free trial, what made him think that I was even remotely interested in paying for a subscription? And I asked him as much, in pretty much those words. His response: I'm just talking to you ma'am.
Ma'am??? I hate that word! It should be stricken from the English Language! I know it is supposed to be a sign of politeness or respect, but I have yet to meet a woman who gets a thrill out of being called ma'am! So if everyone could please stop using the damn word, we women would be much happier. Thank you
Finally, I have decided to cancel my 'Agreement' with latest 'pyramid' company that I talked about the other day. Now don't get me wrong the products work well enough, I just found that many of the products have ingredients that are not to my liking. Some of the food/drinks contained sucralose -- evil shit. The deodorant contained aluminum -- more evil shit -- which causes the yellow armpit stains on your white shirts and stops you from sweating. I've got news for you people, sweat is your body's NATURAL way of helping to regulate your body temp. You may look nice while not sweating, but by no means is it normal! And many of the laundry products contained 'fragrance' which I could NOT stand the smell of. This is not to say that the products are not good, in fact they are better than many of the things you find on the store shelves. I'm just saying it's not for me. I have found many other eco-friendly products that work well for me -- and they are cheaper. For example, putting a splash of vinegar in your laundry is not only a fabric softener, but it will kill germs -- including the stinky ones on your towels. I have found that salt, vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and water -- not all mixed together of course -- will clean and disinfect most surfaces in the home quite well. Oh, and they will also get rid of odors. Remember...a clean home really doesn't smell like anything!
Well, I must have done something right last school year. I received a message from a friend that her granddaughter achieved a score of 380 (which is a 4 or proficient) in Language Arts and 455 (which is a 5 or Advanced) in Math! In California the students take a state test every year in the spring -- as they do in most places. The scores begin at 150 and have a high of 600. The goal is for all students to be 'Proficient' -- this would be a score of 350 or higher. The rating that the state came up with is as follows:
1 = Far Below Basic
2 = Below Basic
3 = Basic
------------------------------------
4 = Proficient
5 = Advanced
So as you can see not only did the granddaughter do really well, but she kicked ass in math! Way to go!!!!
This made me feel that not all was lost after such a rough year. It also helps that she is a SUPER smart girl!
Now I just wonder how the boy who was reading at a 12th grade level did.
Well, I took my car in for a badly needed oil change. And when I say it was over due THAT is an understatement! It had been over a year. Thank goodness I have a Honda. Anyway, I asked them to check my brakes, because over 2 years ago I was told that I would need some soon. Yeah, took that warning seriously didn't I? So I broke one of the cardinal rules of auto repair -- from a Detroit perspective anyway-- NEVER tell them what you THINK you may need. Not only will you need what you 'thought' was bad or going, but you have now opened yourself up for a host of other 'issues'. I'm not saying that all mechanics in the fine Detroit area are out to rip you off, but there are plenty enough of those kinds that you quickly learn to keep your mouth shut! So, when I told the mechanic that I was 99% certain that I would need new brakes I was shocked to hear upon my return that...my brakes were fine! Seriously, I almost cried because he was soo honest. I went on to ask him, "How will I know when I need a new timing belt?" Crap...another rule broken! He asked how many miles on the car and I honestly answered. Shit, when will I learn to ask the right questions like, "How many miles can I expect to get on a timing belt for my type of car?" Again, the dude was honest and said that I was fine for at least another 20,000 - 30,000 miles. I have died and gone to car repair heaven! The dude has my business for life! So if your in my area and need a car repair I highly recommend Tire King in King City, CA. Now I wouldn't normally say the name of a business, but when someone is sooo honest and doesn't rip me off, I gotta give a shout out.
Thing 2 at the mechanics...they found dog and cat food in my air filter! You see in my last place (I lived there over a year and a half ago...I told you it's been a while since I've had my car looked at. Don't worry, my oil has been changed since then...I think) there was a mouse -- okay, in all actuality there were probably several. but just let me have my delusional fantasy -- that would take dog food from the neighbors (where I shared a garage wall) and hoard it in my garage. The best was one day when my ex and I were cleaning the cupboards in the garage and a fireman's boot he had -- don't worry, he had both boots -- was filled to the rim with dog food. We thought that was the extent...apparently not! Not only was he/she hoarding the food in my air filter, but the food was separated into two compartments. All the dog food was in one compartment and all the cat food was in another compartment. Needless to say, the mechanic and I had a good laugh and then he charged me a 'cleaning fee'.
We begin with the creature that scared the shit out of me at 2:30 in the morning...a possum! They are some noisy ass climbers. I was sound asleep when I heard a massive ruckus outside. I was sleeping with the slider open as it was a nice, cool evening. I mean, who doesn't like to be all snugly warm and have the cool air on your face as you sleep? At first, I thought someone had snuck into my backyard, then realized that it was an animal crawling along the back fence. So, I got up, turned on the light -- remember, I have self-diagnosed plantar fasciitis, so I am hobbling around like a drunkard -- and watch an ugly ass creature with a rat-like tail climb down one of the trees (it rests along the back fence). I then begin watching it with fascination as it sniffs along the grass. Then...I remember the doggie door! So now images of this thing crawling into the house, walking around the house, Samson and me barricaded in the bedroom while I call 911 rush through my mind. Let's face it, Samson is a wuss and runs away from cats. What the hell's he gonna do with a real wild animal. So I run -- ok, quickly stumble -- down the hall to the side slider (where the doggie door is located) and close it. I continue watching the possum for a few minutes...they sniff a lot! It then found some apples that fell off my tree and started chomping them. I then lost him -- or her -- on the side of the yard where there is no light. And there was no way in hell that I was going outside just to see some stupid creature.
The person who designed textured walls is an idiot. The person who decided that said textured walls should be installed in homes is an ASSHOLE!! I have been painting my new corner office. I decided that it would be nice to paint it a light blue with one accent wall of a darker blue from the same paint strip. I have learned that painting a light color of stupid, fucking textured walls is waaay easier. Why? Because you can't see every single little pocket that you may have missed. Oh, and these stupid walls allow cob webs to grow and prosper. WTF??? I have better things to do with my day than to take down cob webs from textured walls...Assholes!
Finally, I am a sucker. Yes, there is a large blinking neon sign on my forehead that only friends who sell crap can see. If you invite me to a party -- tupperware, candles, makeup, etc. -- I will buy shit cuz the pitch gets me. So knowing this I go into these fucking parties with the mindset, "I'm here for free food, maybe free shit, but I'm NOT buying anything." And every time I walk out having ordered some shit. So, it happened again this week. A good friend of mine invited me to one of these parties -- oh, yeah, and let's not forget they ALWAYS want you to become a pusher like them -- and yes I walked out having ordered a ton of this shit. This friend knew that I liked organic stuff and it was a party for organic cleaners, vitamins, and other products. I will say that after doing some research there were very few negative things said about the product. Don't get me wrong it's one of those pyramid schemes where if you become a pusher -- they call them agents or sales reps. -- you earn money and the more people you can get to become pushers you earn more money. So while I constantly walk out of these parties ordering a ton of shit, I NEVER agree to become a pusher. I have to say though, when I have bought shit it has all turned out well in the end. But still...I have that damn sign on my forehead!!! Oh, and I will keep you posted as to the effectiveness of the crap I bought. I secretly hope it's good.
Cool fact of the day...Hendrix was the first opening act for the Monkees. I know! Odd combination, but apparently a true fact. I learned this today where everyone gets their news...Facebook. I have a friend who is waaaay into the Monkees. Truth be told, maybe a bit too much, but at any rate she knew and shared it with the world! Seriously, check out this video, pretty cool...
OK, I know it's not Hendrix playing at a Monkees concert, but this is the best I could find. If you find Hendrix at a Monkees concert, let me know and I will post it. But still, Mickey Dolenz...playing Hendrix...well...very cool!!
Thing 2 I would like to share with the world is that I am done painting the primary walls in my office. All I have left is the accent wall. Upon looking at my accomplishment, I realized I had -- on loan -- the PERFECT painting to go on the wall. Yup, you guessed it, it's called Think Tank, created by my ex, PT. He is a very talented artist and a generous one at that. He has allowed me to keep several paintings -- on loan -- to hang in the house. The blue wall compliments the painting so well, I was giddy with joy.
Today is a sad day for my first ever 'big girl' sports bra. While at the gym...in a Zumba class...I realized the bra I was wearing needed to retire. I assure you, this is neither the time nor the place to discover such information. This trusty bra has been with me for many years, so arguably it has done its job -- and it has done its job well! I call it a 'big girl' bra, not because I am grown up, but because I am a big girl where bras are concerned. When you reach a certain size it becomes difficult to do high aerobic activities without giving yourself a black eye. Several years ago -- and I do mean several -- Oprah had a show that spoke to this issue. And let's face it, if anyone can find a good 'big girl' bra it would be Lady O! I was soooo thrilled that I went out -- ok went online -- and bought one. This is that same bra. So yes, this bra has stood the test of time and big boobs! It's a winner in my book. To be honest I have purchased others throughout the years, so no, I have not been wearing the same one all this time. The company is called
Enell. If you are big and want to contain the girls' excitement during an exercise routine, check them out! Stay tuned...I am debating having a retirement party in its honor!
After the resignation of my bra at the gym I went to the local hardware store...apparently I have no shame! I went to get paint for my new office -- the one in my house. Anyway, while waiting in line I notice a display "Anti Monkey Butt". Seriously, a product like this exists! Clearly this product is meant for all those sexy plumbers out there! However, my only question is...Does anyone really buy this? I mean, what is a person who buys this thinking to him/herself while purchasing such a product? "Oh thank God there is a product that will keep my ass crack from showing" Cuz I've got news for those folks...it's called clothes that fit! I sooo desperately wanted to ask someone if they've ever sold any, but chickened out. I'll be back I'm sure, I WILL ask next time!
Finally this evening, after the Farmer's Market, I went to see the newest edition to a friend's family. Baby Zoe is a GREAT baby! I mean, any baby that allows me to hold him/her without crying and freaking out, is a GREAT kid in my book! Welcome to the world Baby Zoe and congrats to Amy, Jim and big sister Meagan!
